Success is apparently measured in many ways, running a successful business, or having reached the pinnacle of one’s career, finally writing the book that has been long promised, or having achieved financial security. Those are honourable achievements, but for some opening tired eyes and facing into another day is a massive achievement, especially when the first thought to greet them is of the person who is persistently bullying them. The Extraordinary person who helps people cope, survive and overcome bullying is Paul Marsden M.Sc.Psych.
Paul Marsden is an occupational and organisational psychologist who works in private practice. He is an honours graduate in psychology and has studied at postgraduate level in Dublin City University. He conducts training for a variety of organizations in Ireland and the UK is such areas as teambuilding, understanding stress, building resilience and dealing with difficult personalities at work. He has also done a number of radio programmes on dealing with workplace bullying and its effects on the individual and the workplace.
I have recorded a very thought provoking interview with Paul, in it he answers the following questions.
What exactly is bullying?
How does bullying differ from harassment?
How would someone know they are being bullied?
Why would someone choose to bully someone?
Are there some people more prone to being bullied than others?
Do bullies know they are bullies?
Would it be possible for me, as the interviewer during this interview to bully you without the people who are listening being conscious of what is actually going on?
What steps can a person take to cope with bullying?
Meeting Paul proved to be an absolute pleasure, his easy relaxed manner confirming he is in the right profession. Psychology always interested him, as a young boy reading books on the subject to his first job as a psychiatric nurse. He gives a wry smile as he sums up his early years.
“I wasn’t sure what psychology was really all about and so welcomed the opportunity to question some of the psychologists I encountered during my nursing experience, perhaps I had begun to develop my questioning skills at that stage.”
Paul qualified as a psychologist in 2001, complimenting his qualification with Hypnotherapy, Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), Cognitive Psychotherapy and a number of other intervention systems.
“The day I set up in practice and finished hammering my certs up on the wall, I had a frightening realization that I actuallyknew nothingat all. It was from that day, that my “real” training and education began!”
A newbie therapist’s first significant moment is generally seen as meeting and greeting their very first client, all that training, all that study then here is a real person in need of help.
“My first experience of bullying and its effects was when I helped a fifteen-year-old girl who had been severely bullied at school. Her confidence and self-esteem had been shattered, she was unable to maintain eye contact with me or speak a sentence to me without breaking down in tears. It was my first time to see how badly a person could be ground down by that negative experience. With my guidance she developed a good understanding of the dysfunctional dynamics involved in a bullying situation and how to keep herself intact. After six weeks she was able to return to her school and even though the bullying continued she remained unaffected and regained her previous high grades.”
Paul has contributed to a number of radio programmes on bullying, he has developed polices for organizations on workplace dignity, he delivers training programmes on the topic and is a much sought after speaker on the subject.
“I teach them nothing new but rather I help them to uncover the resources and abilities they always had but have forgotten about, perhaps they never realized they had those resources to begin with but I know they are there and I help them uncover and use them effectively.”
Please click on the link to my interview with Paul, it is honest and sincere, my belief has always been that the most important qualification for any individual to acquire is to have a heart, without that,diplomas are not worth the paper they are printed on. It is time to conclude my privileged time in Paul’s company, a truly amazing man who deserves the description of Being Extraordinary. I will leave the last word to Paul.
From time to time I still wonder if I know anything at all about what I do. One thing I know is I have a lot more learning to do and the biggest lesson of all is to realize how much I don’t know, even now! I am lucky in that there are some very good teachers out there. I am fortunate to meet and work with them regularly. They are called clients.”
Success is apparently measured in many ways, running a successful business, or having reached the pinnacle of one’s career, finally writing the book that has been long promised, or having achieved financial security. Those are honourable achievements, but for some opening tired eyes and facing into another day is a massive achievement, especially when the first thought to greet them is of the person who is persistently bullying them. The Extraordinary person who helps people cope, survive and overcome bullying is Paul Marsden M.Sc.Psych.
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